SOULMATE

You call me your sunshine, but in my darkest hour you are my moonlight.

In the midst of the storm, you are my calming sea.

You are tranquility, when my heart is in turmoil.

You bring me hope, when my mind knows nothing but fear.

When I am alone, you place your hand where it should be.

You are peace, when I am nothing but hate.

You put a smile deep within me, despite... when tears are rolling down my face.

You are my courage and strength, when I am fallen and weak.

You are an endless rope, in a bottomless pit.

In my unbelief, you are a hint of promise that never fades.

And when my dreams are crushed, you never ever let me yield.

Hence, you call me complete, but in reality it is only you, that make me whole.

You will always be that spark of light, that makes me shine the brightest.

Your love has let me... be the best that I can ever be.

I am, because of who you are.

Angels' whispers

“You are our God yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Let us worship You in our thoughts, words and deeds unceasingly.

May all the ends of the earth proclaim Your goodness and unfathomable love

until the end of time.

Give us the courage and wisdom to live a life of righteousness.

Help us take every opportunity to inspire and serve others.

May others see the light of Christ in everything that we do.

Help us to follow Your ways Oh Lord, and learn to live in simplicity and humility.

Crush our pride and thirst for fame and glory.

Instill in our minds that only through serving You, we can receive the real joy and peace in our hearts.

And may Your love reign in our lives forever.”

Internet Maniac

As I attempt to trod the path of righteousness

To put meaning in my life

Day by day, I struggle and battle with temptation

Lured by lethargy, I’m losing this strife

Manipulated by illogical reasoning

I create excuses most obscured

Talent with profound meaning

Are set aside without due cause

Addicted to the internet like others

A monster that gobbles incessantly

Time speeds up as I waste it

Regrettably a worthless day has ended

Seconds tick, minutes pass

I stare at the screen patiently

As if something important is always happening

But it’s just the virtual life that I am constantly living

A farmer, a pet and a high socialite

A house or a restaurant owner, a vampire or a mafia lord

It devours your being, it wastes your soul

It consumes your time and destroys your whole

Stop or it will stop you

From doing what you’re supposed to do

So many things are yet to be done

Be in control or addicted you’ll become

INTERNET DETOX

Everytime I fly, I get free internet access in my room being a cabin manager. Thus, this helps me survive locked in a hotel room during long layovers, especially in the winter. I would order room service, turn on the TV, wouldn’t even care if it’s not English, and be online the whole time. On one of my flights to Manchester, for some reason, there was a hiccup in the hotel’s internet system and so it was inaccessible. I was debating if I should pay 15 UK pounds, which I knew was a lot, just for a 24- hour access or try to sustain my 36-hour layover offline.

I’m sure all of my fellow OFW’s would agree that the internet is our lifeline. I feel suffocated just thinking of not having an access to Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo! Messenger or Skype. Although SMS is just a click away, I don’t know why having an internet gives me a different sense of security, knowing that anytime, my family and friends can track me or just buzz. So during my stay in Manchester, no internet for me, was a real big challenge. When my jetlag kicked in, I know, this would make it easier for me to cope. But I’m also aware that I have to force myself to get out of bed after a few hours, so that I can still manage to set my body clock for my flight back home. Mind you, my sleeping record is 17 straight hours. Still I fear that when I wake up, the dilemma of not having internet looms at the back of my mind. I was trying to control myself from having an anxiety attack. I was battling to divert my thoughts to avoid feeling lonely and isolated. It may not be a big deal for others, but for those who have experienced living alone in unknown territory, away from all your loved ones and outside your comfort zone, they know what I’m talking about.

After deciding to detoxify myself from the internet, the challenge had begun… I sat infront of my laptop, organized my files and updated my journals. I brought out my painting materials and just lay them around to make it appear that I have so much to do. I opened some files, which I had saved and forgotten. I brought out a book which I had stopped reading half way. When I saw all these in front of me, I realized that there was so much to do than browsing through Facebook, while feeding my dog in Pet Society, harvesting my crops at Farmville, fixing my house at Yoville, running my diner at Restaurant City and fighting with girls in Sorority Life.

It's true that technology makes up for the distance when people live apart, and that it plays a vital role in connecting and reconnecting long lost families and friends. However, the experience taught me that we shouldn’t forget that there are a lot of other activities that we set aside because of too much time in the internet. We should always remember to prioritize and spend our time more productively. Time wasted is time lost. When I turned 40, that was when I realized that our parents were right, life is indeed too short. There are so many things that I still wish to do. And it seems that a lifetime won’t be enough for its realization, especially when I let myself get carried away browsing through pictures, shout outs and posts over and over again.

I have started this year with a promise. No, I’m not going to throw my laptop out of the window and revert back to snail mail nor am I going to delete my Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo! Messenger and Skype accounts. But I’m going to make the internet my ally, a significant partner that I can use and spend quality time with. Not something that I would waste my time on because I have nothing better else to do. Months ago, I was substantially able to cut down from my usual internet gaming fancy. So I do feel some sense of satisfaction.

For me it’s my dependence, or worse, addiction to the internet, that makes me feel an unworthy servant. Maybe for you, it’s something else. It is important for us to pause and examine ourselves on how we sometimes carelessly spend our time. Let us ask the Lord for guidance and strength that this New Year will be a constant offering of our precious time in serving Him in His vineyard. And for all our actions to God be the glory…

Angels Offertory

A NOTE ON GRATITUDE

One of the most common trait that we teach our kids is to say ‘thank you’. We tell them to be grateful when receiving a gift, taking a compliment and praying to God. ‘Good manners’ is often associated when children are heard saying this wonderful phrase.


But I remember when I was still small, I felt so embarrassed to speak out when receiving a compliment. In the old school, Filipino children are seldom given the chance to respond freely to their elders. This probably deterred my spontaneity in expressing how I felt. Most of the time, my parents were there to speak on my behalf.


And this probably contributed more, on being unable to say ‘thank you’ naturally as I was growing up. In the western world on the other hand, ‘thank you’ is as common as saying ‘hello’ and ‘how are you?’ to a complete stranger. Fortunately, exposure to other cultures influenced me to do the same eventually.


For us Catholics, a grateful heart is believed to open the gates of heaven and receive the grace of God. When we remember to thank Him for every little thing that we receive each day, it goes back to remind us that He is a God whom we can trust. That He is our Father who always knows what is best for His children. And without Him by our side, our lives will be in constant chaos.


When we pray, it is known that the two most common emotions that inspire us spiritually are love and gratitude. These feelings that we experience towards God enable us to sense His loving presence constantly. The Holy Bible contains numerous verses from the Old to the New Testament validating this belief. And it is because of our faith, we know that whatever comes our way God is in control. We may not be able to always see the light at the moment of difficulty, but we are confident that His grace will manifest in His own perfect time. In the end we always realize that trials, which cross our paths, are blessings in disguise after all. So regardless of how heavy the cross that we bear, we must continuously live our lives in praise and thanksgiving for His generous and loving heart.


(1 Chronicles 16:34) “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”

SIMPLY PRAY

THE FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER...

"Is this phrase that we grew up with, lies now, as a silent scream, in the hearts of the children of broken Filipino families?"
When my youngest brother got married three years ago, I was devastated of not being able to attend his wedding. I was here in Abu dhabi for only 2 months and was just finishing up my abinitio training as a cabin crew. Despite my privileges of free travels, I was so helpless. For a moment, I regret choosing to leave my family to find my higher purpose. I satisfied myself by making a short power point presentation that I can send back home, to make my presence felt in this momentous event. Being married for 15 years back then, I believe that I had more or less an idea what awaits my brother in this new chapter in his life. After the heartfelt and tear jerking messages that made my lolas, aunts and cousins sniff and sob, I ended my agenda with the one thing I know, on how one can make it through the toughest times of his or her married life. And that is through… P r a y e r !

Philippians 4:6-7 “Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking Him with a thankful heart. And God’s peace, which is far beyond human

A Tribute to my MICAEL

INFANTICIPATION (written April 27, 1994)

The life within me
Has grown so fast
A soul within my soul
Which God has entrust

The breath of love I now await
The last month of being one
The pain of love I give
To deliver my little one

With tiny hands and tiny feet
Pounding under my flesh
From a butterfly he has become
A human with bones and flesh

A few more days I shall await
A boy or girl to see
All I pray is God's love
For a mother and her child to be...

THE BIRTH (written June 19, 1994)

The whole day of the 18th of May
A tinge of pain I felt
It comes and goes, it soars and flows
And dies as it began to melt

Before the eve arrives
I prayed to our dear Mother
Please tell me if the time is now
And for this time not to linger

And as our Mother answered my prayer
One great surge confirmed
As if it happened to give a sign
The coming of my child I've earned

We rushed to my birthing place
Not knowing what lies ahead
After all the pain subsided
False labor I fear instead

As we entered the emergency door
Anxious, doubtful and excited
Funny I felt no fear inside
For this time I have long wanted

As I was wheeled to the preparation room
Five cm they have admitted
Then transferred to the labor room
Where I groaned, moaned and grunted

I then received a simple note
Which lifted my spirits high
From him who waits outside the door
Excited he can't deny

On that same spot, I then bled
And burst my bag of water did
They injected so much stuff in me
Thus the hours like seconds slid

Finally my bed began to roll
To the delivery room I suspected
The pain surmounted to its peak
Surrendering I soon intended

But when I was about to cry
To push I cannot manage
They say that tears they cannot allow
To be strong I was encouraged

My legs were up and back positioned
Prepared for every coming contraction
And finally when his head has peeped
I was curled up for my injection

After all the pain that pass
A little boy I can see
Cleansed and wrapped he then approach
With one eye open and one eye closed

Lying on the table half awake
A stroke on his cheek I gently take
So black is his hair and clear is his face
My little child left me with a smile on my face

All the pain I have now forgotten
I thank the Lord for the miracle that happened
The work of his hand for the world to see
He filled me with love, like a mother would be...

LUCENTE

The Spirit will be your guide
You are to spread the good news of eternal light
You shall illumine the hearts of those you meet
Touching strangers and foes shall be your feat

Scintillate my daughter of light
The angels will embellish you with the love of the Mighty One
Your sweet fragrance will overpower the rotting stench of sin
And your voice shall be soothing amidst the swearing of the hopeless

Believe and never falter
For your radiance shall never fade
Soft, gentle yet lambent
No wind can ever blow your luminescence away

METAMORPHOSIS

The BUTTERFLY is used as a symbol of transformation because of its mutation from a larva in a cocoon to a vibrant and colorful insect. During the ancient era, the Egyptians and the Greeks placed golden butterflies on tombs to represent resurrection, rebirth and immortality. In Christian symbolism in art, it represents resurrection through its process of metamorphosis:

Caterpillar – human form, Cocoon/Chrysalis – death, Butterfly – spirit

METAMORPHOSIS

The mystery of evolution

Life's continuous state of transformation

The turbulent voyage

While facing unpredictable uncertainties

Where do we draw our strength

What hope do our hearts possess

Which faith shall we believe in

Who shall we depend upon

For your answers will dictate

As your destiny awaits

To plummet or to rise

To perish or survive

There is only one way to endure

Life's incessant trials and tribulations

Draw, hope, believe, depend

On God and God alone

Then the promise of life

Like a ray through an aperture

From a chrysalis you shall emerge

A metamorphosed creature of light

Musique

MELODY

Sound of one's soul
Echoing of emotions
In its purest sense
HARMONY
Touching hearts
Reminiscing the past
Inspiring the future
TONE
Reverberating in its truest sense
A laughter of one's spirit
A pleasant cry from within
RYTHM
Soothing
Healing
Invigorating
Close your eyes...
Immerse...
Listen with your soul

GIFT OF FREEDOM

Our life is like an empty sheet at the mercy of our hands
We envisage and sketch the blueprint then carry out the plan
You can splatter all the colors or just choose black and white
Or you might want to draw circles or just lines from left to right
No matter what you decide on, your life is yours to keep
But in the end what matters most is it's purpose...
was it shallow? was it deep?

ASEA

As we sail the sea of life
With the dreaded turbulence at the fore
The thorn of suffering is pierced on our side
On our backs, roots of evil permeate

The waves of temptation
Lulls you back and forth to the shore of righteousness
Hoist your sail to the right direction
Lest you will be lost at sea

Your buoyancy is not the only thing that is at risk
Your fervor to reach the coast
Serenity to face the storm
Hope knowing that there is sunlight thereafter

Only we shall sail peacefully
If You Oh God is my Helmsman
For from nothingness we become
And to nothingness we shall be
... if we steer on our own

Constant Companion

Loneliness is my greatest adversary
But in the midst of my suffering You are with me
The moment I have accepted You as my Lord and Savior
Forever only You shall I desire
Living a life of trying to know You will suffice
How I long to see Your face
How I yearn to kiss Your feet
Each day I beg for Your forgiveness
But still I stumble and fall
Use my weakness
So You can draw me closer
For the time has yet to come
As I await for Your loving embrace
I shall only love and serve You
In your mercy alone I shall learn to trust
For in this changing world
You alone are constant

Sanctity

Hope
A holy life must we seek in the midst of this world's turmoil and grief
Hungry as we graze the idle fields of darkness
We shall nourish our spirit with fearless pursuit of enlightenment

Be content
A holy life must we seek in the midst of the lure of possessions and wealth
As desire evolves to greed and greed mutates to pleonexia
We shall triumph with generosity and selflessness

Be humble
A holy life must we seek in the midst of opportunities to attain fame and fortune
As success endeavors to devour you with vainglory
We shall remain steadfast and live as servants of our brethren

Be pure
A holy life must we seek in the midst of temptation and the calling of the flesh
As the lure of pleasure betrays your true sense of heaven
We shall remain cloaked with chastity and continence

Be diligent
A holy life must we seek in the midst of apathy and hebetude
As the storm wails and the sea becomes unbearable
We shall persevere and relentlessly face our trials and tribulations

Be at peace
A holy life must we seek in the midst of rage and fury
As we seek an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth
We shall hold still and bask in the warmth of God's loving mercy

Light

We sing our songs of praises
To You our heavenly Father
With the angelic choir we lift our voice
And give our sweet surrender

Purify our intentions
Teach us Your ways
Forgive us our shortcomings
In our passing days

We are Your humble servants
Your sons and daughters of light
May we live according to Your most holy will
To remain pleasing in Your sight

VISION

Dream or reality
A hallucinatory experience
It's supposed to reconnect my soul to the unknown,
my subconscious to where I came from
and to where we all are going

As I start the journey in my mind
I was strolling in a field that extends as far as beyond my sight
Flowers with hues and tones I haven't seen
Fragrant despite I cannot smell

A golden staircase that winds up through the heavens
An angel guided me as I took the first step
And as soon as I pass through the clouds
A grandiose gate awaits

Alas when I push it open
Nothingness befall me
Disappointed I turned my back around
Bewildered by the empty passageway

Why then did I make this journey
If such will be its end
Useless so it may seem
Like the purpose of some of us we're living

Yet as I go back to the garden of haven
My angel now awaits to take me where I came from
To be awaken once more
The question in my mind remains

Centripetal Force.... movement empowered by the Divine